It's that time again! Valentine's day.
For some reason, this holiday seems to send women into a tizzy; as a girl that never really got spoiled on these days, it just wasn't something I cared too much about. The only thing I looked forward to was my dad bringing me flowers, cards, and candy. As dating became a thing in my teens, I really never cared if I received anything.
Fast forward to now.
As a 40-year-old married adult, Valentine's Day is something I appreciate more now. My husband has been the only man who has ever really done some amazing things (He's such a romantic). Because of that, it really changed my feelings about just how to celebrate Valentine's.
This holiday is sexy and romantic. As grown women, we like to be sexy for our husbands/men or significant others. Anytime, Any-day. Don't wait until it's valentine's day to pull out the sexy lingerie; give that element of surprise. The minute the kids leave, it's your time, and anything can go down.
The best part of celebrating this holiday with my husband is the wine and dine. He seems to know just what I like, good food, good wine, and great horizontal tango. Mix that with cuddling naked, drinking more wine, and watching our favorite(romantic movie). That's my type of night.
TICKLE YOUR FANCY
Getting your hair done, put on your makeup, and pull out a new sexy savage Fenty lingerie; Spray some perfume… Why not pull out all the stops? Nothing boosts the ego more than the look in your partner's eyes when you pull out surprises.
It not only makes you feel feminine, sexy, and confident. It makes you feel strong, and wanted in that GOOD way.
Your spouse, I'm sure it's a boost to the ego as well. Let your lover see a side of you they never seen before.
Pull out the adult games, toys and fruit rollups.
The goal here is tease, please, take your time and build the intensity.
Be in love, be intimate, and lay down the insecurities. There is nothing wrong with loving to be sexually attracted and sexually active with the person you care about the most. Get naked, do a little shimmy, be playful, have fun and explore.
INTIMACY
Sex isn't the only thing that Valentine's Day can include. Intimacy and romance is a big part of feeling special on that day. Personally, I have always been a hopeless romantic (I guess watching too many romance movies). I kind of figured my life was a romance comedy/ drama that ended with great soul matching love. COVID has really made things a bit more challenging to celebrate special events and holidays.
So just cooking something special, lighting some candles, soft music and wine, it can turn out to be the most intimate and romantic part of that day. Who says you can't dance in the living room with your loved one, telling them how much they mean to you. Take a sit on the couch, eat some popcorn and chocolate while holding each other and watching a great movie. Having intimacy doesn't have to be the grandest gesture, but it's the emotion beside the act. There are several types of intimacy styles like:
Intellectual intimacy is sharing, viewpoint, belief systems, and ideas connecting mentally that provokes thought.
Emotional intimacy is the closeness one feels to their partner that allows them to let down their guard and share personal feelings, dreams, fears, and insecurity. Emotional intimacy gives your partner the closeness and trust need to build and keep a healthy relationship.
Experiential intimacy is the bond between you and your partner during activities that require teamwork.
Spiritual intimacy is sharing spiritual work together, like praying or devotions together, even long walks in the park enjoying nature and the fresh air. Building a strong spiritual understanding and connection together.
SHARE VALENTINES DAY
Growing up, my father bought things for my mom, and as I got to be a certain age, he bought me gifts, and I loved them. I have four kids, and all four get something unique from my husband and me.
We just want to share our love with our kids, make them feel special because after all this holiday is about love right?
JUST BE IN LOVE
I love love, the thought of love makes me happy, and the idea of others falling in love brings the biggest smile on my face.
Why? When you are in love, the connection, emotion, and happiness are at an all-time high, seeing people be happy makes me happy.
We live in a world where everything makes someone mad or feel they need to have an opinion about things that don't concern them. Love is a thing that just is, and it depends on how you define love or seen love, as how you convey it to others. Now I'm not talking about that toxic stuff, that's not love. We are not going to go in on that.
I'm talking about being with a person for 10-20 years and still get butterflies in your stomach type of love. See, love is such a broad subject because it can be the best thing in the world that makes you want to live forever or the hardest thing in the world that puts you in an awful space.
When you found your one, just be present in love. Sometimes you really have to shut things out and focus on what you are building.
Valentine's day is not loved by all people, and that's ok too, but for the lovers out there… YOU know who you are. Be happy and in love and enjoy the holiday.
Leave the terrible stigma behind and just feel free to be satisfied.
A LITTLE SOMETHING, SOMETHING FOR THE SINGLES.
Now that we got through the couples thing let's talk about singles.
Yes, being single can be a drag during this holiday for some people and that is entirely understandable. Still, you don't have to have a special somebody when you are that special somebody.
Get dressed up for yourself, take yourself out, or call some of your friends and get out with them. Have a good time, give them some flowers or exchange gifts to show appreciation for their friendship. Nothing is wrong with being single, enjoy yourself.
The social standard about being single is really screwed, they force people to think their lives are no good if you're single. The worst misconceptions of that myth is no body wants you , and something must be wrong with that person.
I say the big FU to those people who push that narrative. Being single means your exploring life, love and self awareness. Love doesn't have a guide book. Some people prefer to be single and shaming a person for that, is just wrong.
Now when it comes to being sexually intimate, well, I'll leave that to you to figure out what to do.
Valentine's Day can be played with in many different ways, all I will say is have fun, explore and be safe. Don't let people make you feel bad, for feeling the way you do about this fun holiday.